Well, it’s been a week. Let’s see what’s coming up next.
Arizona 42, New Orleans 34
Jeff’s big ball bonanza finally pays off as some touchdowns got scored, and even some by the team on offense! Sadly for the Saints, they remembered that their QB is Andy Dalton (although why is more of a question) and their coach is Dennis Allen (although why is more of a…yep), and they handed this Arizona team their first home win since 2 Prime Ministers ago.
Cleveland at Baltimore
Baltimore are flatlining on the way to the hospital right now after contriving to blow a lead against the Giants, who are roughly similar to Steve Smith of American Dad fame’s football team:
But, Cleveland have been flatlining most of their footballing lives. It’s a game neither side will feel able to win, but one has to, and I’m gonna take the better team on paper, even if Mike McDonald’s job security is comparable to a cabinet minister.
Baltimore by a score.
Tampa Bay at Carolina
I sometimes worry about getting this article out on time. Then a game comes along like this I can sum up in a few words. Carolina have embraced the tank, trading their best offensive player (more on which later), and really shouldn’t be winning here. Tampa should be better than they are, but they don’t need to be too good to win here.
Tampa by two scores plus.
Atlanta at Cincinnati
Strange game, this one. Atlanta come off a win over my 49ers last week, and actually looked vaguely competent. Of course, it was the 49ers. Mind you, they were efficient on offense, stingy on defense, and will probably give Cincinnati a difficult time. However, the Bengals are always pretty good at generating points, and should be holding serve at home. I’ll take them here.
Cincinnati by a score.
Detroit at Dallas
Dak Prescott returns to broadly do the same thing as Cooper Rush but be lauded much more for it. It’s likely to get very tedious, particularly as Prescott returns against one of the worst defenses in the league. Famously, in Hard Knocks, Duce Staley and Aaron Glenn wouldn’t talk to each other during practice. If Aaron Glenn’s unit continues to play the way it has been, there’ll be a hell of a lot more people not talking to him in Detroit, bar the employment agency. Detroit will show some fire and generate some points, but they’re being dragged down by the other side of the ball.
Dallas by two scores.
NY Giants at Jacksonville
Say their name and they appear…
I believe in the New York Giants.
It’s still smoke and mirrors, they still have Daniel Jones, and I don’t really know how they’re doing it, but you can’t argue with the results. This week’s a different test – not just a game they could win, but a game they should be winning. Jacksonville continue to be a peculiar side, jumping from good performances to bad consistently, and the Giants should be consistent enough to pull this out.
New York by a score.
Indianapolis at Tennessee
Indianapolis must be one of the strangest teams with a (nominally) winning record in the league, mixing surprise upset wins with inexplicably terrible losses. Tennessee, meanwhile, are kind of just there in the same division, in fact, not a lot better than Indianapolis. So who takes this one? I’m going to swing around here from what I originally thought, and I’ll have Indy to win.
Indianapolis by a score.
Green Bay at Washington
Ugh. These teams are somehow only one game apart in record, and on the field, probably much further apart in talent. Everyone seems to think that this is the week the Packers offense gets its mojo back, but if Rodgers cared about logic and science, he’d have…oh, you know the rest. I still think they’ll win. Washington’s D is about as useful as the Capitol Building’s security, and being tested by bigger lunatics.
Green Bay by two scores.
NY Jets at Denver
As if to show preseason predictions don’t mean anything, this would’ve at one point have been down as roughly a 70 point win for Denver. Now, here we are in Week 7, and not only are the Jets as big if not a bigger surprise than their stadium mates the Giants, but Denver are pretty terrible. On top of which, they’re starting Moneyball extra Brett Rypien.
“WHO?!”
Denver’s D is pretty legit and should keep the Jets offense quiet, similar to their scheme-mates San Francisco, but their O will be lucky to generate anything. I think the Jets will keep rolling, and it’s going to be insanely confusing that both New York teams are still good.
New York by a score.
Houston at Las Vegas
They’re baaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaack…
Surely even they can’t lose to Houston? Who knows. Houston will be on a high after clearing Easterby from the building, but they’re still a bad football team (at best), and there’s a huge talent gap.
I’m picking Vegas, BUT, if they somehow manage to lose this, those McDaniels alarm bells better start ringing, and ringing hard.
Vegas by two scores.
Seattle at LA Chargers
A surprisingly good team against a surprisingly mediocre one, and I don’t know who will come out on top. I am astounded the Chargers sit at 4-2, as they somehow manage to coach it close every week. It feels like the wheels must come off at some point, but against Geno? Maybe. Maybe this week will finally show to the wider world just how bad a coach Brandon Staley is in-game, and maybe how bullshit PFF rankings and grades are.
Or, maybe, as I expect, they’ll sneak through again, and we can continue this charade another week. Close game, because they almost always are, but I think the Chargers O, even dragged down by bad clock management and in game decisions, has too much for Seattle.
LA by a score.
Kansas City at San Francisco
I find it hard to pick my own team’s games, largely because a) I don’t like doing it and b) there’s no way to predict San Francisco. We were terrible last week, but we were missing a number of defensive starters, some of whom are back this week. My bigger problem with this team is the offense. The trade that has been made for Christian McCaffrey this week is clearly designed to spark something, but unless Shanahan’s playcalling changes, it’s just another weapon to waste. The team already has Deebo Samuel, Brandon Aiyuk and George Kittle among others, but still can’t shake Shanahan’s playcalling and decision-making in game to be the unit they should be. Also, Jim Harbaugh is in town, which feels like ‘losing an important game’ bad mojo, since that’s pretty much all he did in San Francisco.
The Chiefs are scoring a lot and giving up a lot, so it’s hard to know which side wins out, and I think it’ll be a close game. But ultimately, it comes down to Reid vs Shanahan, and at the moment, I can’t take my guy.
Kansas City by a score.
Pittsburgh at Miami
As I was writing this article, my friend made me aware of a Pittsburgh area headline…
Firstly – a) no, and b) was fentanyl on the rise in Pittsburgh in the spring? I’m not sure which of their terrible options is going to start or end the game at QB for Pittsburgh, but I know Tua is back for Miami, and given the rest of the two sides involved, that ought to be enough.
Miami by two scores.
Chicago at New England
This could be ugly for Chicago. New England throttled Detroit and Cleveland in back to back weeks, particularly on defense, and are about to take on a Chicago team that would struggle to move the ball against air. I can’t see anything but an easy win for New England. Sorry, Chicago. I really think Fields has something, but they’re doing their best to squander it. Chicago – it’s not 1985, you don’t need to make one of the most dynamic young QBs in the league into Jim McMahon.
New England by two scores plus.