Aaron Rodgers’ achilles.
Happy NFL Sunday!
Week 1 Recap
Porter vs The World – 6-9 (5 correct scores)
Remember, I never pick the Thursday game, so don’t write in and tell me I missed one. Or, yknow, write in, some feedback would be nice. A middling opening week – it seems like when I got it right, I got it really right, including Baltimore and Atlanta getting easy wins, but also getting the ugly games right (Saints winning against Tennessee, Washington boring the Cardinals to death), with my only correct pick but wrong score being the Eagles/Pats game, where the Pats put up a pretty good fight.
On the other hand, when I get it wrong, I seemingly miss by a long way – Chicago and New York in particular embarrassed me this week, whereas I probably should’ve had more faith in my own team, as the Niners crushed Pittsburgh. Other than that, in a couple of ‘push’ games, like Miami/LA or Minnesota/Tampa, I got the right score but the wrong way. I also seem to have either vastly inflated Denver or vastly underrated Vegas, I’m not sure which. Also, the Jets held on to beat the Bills, despite Aaron Rodgers inflicting a Greek tragedy on himself. While that made me wrong this week, I’m not sure it’ll make me any more inclined to pick the Jets in the long run.
Of course you can beat the Bills…there’s just one small problem. We’re gonna need your QBs Achilles.
With that out of the way, lets go to Week 2. What have we got coming up this week?
Philadelphia 34, Minnesota 28
Philly are developing a strange habit of letting bad teams hang around, but winning anyway. That’s two close calls in two weeks, so they’ll need to be stepping it up as and when the big teams come knocking. Still, 2-0 is 2-0, however you slice it, and while losing to Jalen Hurts probably feels better than losing to Baker Mayfield, 0-2 is 0-2, Minnesota. It could be a long winter up there in the North. The Vikes are a peculiar team, seemingly caught between win now and rebuild, and it’s showing in a confused effort on the field.
Green Bay at Atlanta
Jordan Love proved that it really doesn’t matter who’s handling the snaps for Green Bay, as long as they’re playing Chicago. Meanwhile, Atlanta largely lived up to expectations in throttling a pretty terrible Carolina side Last week. This is a difficult one to pick first up, as I need to decide which of two largely-disappointing teams from last season I prefer. My mind could be swayed either way, but I’m gonna take Green Bay, even though they’re on the road, as I think they’re more talented and better coached, which wins football games more often than it doesn’t.
Green Bay, one score.
Las Vegas at Buffalo
Another interesting one here, a team I vastly underhyped seemingly (although they still didn’t generate tons of points) versus a team I feel like I’m forever overhyping. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with Josh Allen, but I’m wondering if it’s anything to do with Ken Dorsey, his OC, who – moment of Cranky Englishman trivia – was the first QB I saw on TV starting for the 49ers. It’s a wonder I stayed a fan.
Anyway, credit to Vegas, that was a good, gritty, divisional win, and could be the sign of a turnaround. Jimmy Garoppolo was what he’s always been, solid if unspectacular, with a baffling turnover or two. They should push Buffalo close, but I’m gonna give the Bills an opportunity, like the women I love, to let me down one last time.
Buffalo, one score.
Baltimore at Cincinnati
Joe Burrow in happier times?
This game has taken on some critical mass for the Bengals after last weeks egg-laying against Cleveland. Lose this, and not just be 0-2, but 0-2 in the division, and we could be looking at a long season for the Who Dey nation. This ought to fire them up to play their hearts out.
Baltimore are a little like Buffalo in the last pick, somehow never firing as much as I expected them to. They handled a pretty terrible Houston team going away, but the new offense looked a bit disjointed and sputtering, perhaps to be expected so early in the season. I have to take them here based on the evidence of my eyes and ears, but I don’t feel great about it.
Baltimore, one score.
Seattle at Detroit
It wasn’t a good week 1 for Seattle, with a surprising divisional loss, but perhaps more importantly, the loss of two starting offensive linemen. With both out today, it’s hard to make a case for Seattle against a buoyant Detroit, especially with that pass rush and at home. If Detroit starts 2-0, the city is going to be rocking, and they just might deserve to be doing.
Detroit by two scores, plus.
Indianapolis at Houston
Oof, this could be U-G-L-Y. A couple of rookie QBs (if, indeed, Stroud makes it) and a couple of bad teams does not a thriller make. I’m actually going to announce my UPSET SPECIAL here and take Houston, as I think Ryans is going to have them fired up take his first win in their own backyard, and if they can make it a slugfest, they might just edge it.
Houston, one score.
Kansas City at Jacksonville
This could be a fun game in the early slate – Lawrence v Mahomes is nothing to sneeze at, and I really like the idea of seeing these teams go up against each other. I think Jacksonville will keep it close, but KC needs a win – remember the stats on playoff visits by teams who go 0-2 – and I think that’ll drive them to get it. Still, wouldn’t be shocked to see this go the other way.
Kansas, one score.
Chicago at Tampa Bay
From the penthouse to the outhouse. Chicago put out an embarrassing and frankly pathetic performance against old rival Green Bay, whereas Tampa were less bad than Minnesota. I have to pick this game, but thankfully I don’t have to watch it. I hope Chicago put up a fight, largely because Tampa going 2-0 would be a disgrace to the NFL, but with that o-line, I don’t think they’ll be able to, quite honestly.
Tampa, one score.
LA Chargers at Tennessee
The Chargers lost to Miami in a game that resembled flag football last weekend – lots of scoring and no defense. It’s hard to see them losing to Tennessee though, who were about as bad as possible versus New Orleans. How Ryan Tannehill remains a starting QB in the NFL is a mystery to me, and surely it can only be a matter of time before Will Levis gets the call? I expect that to accelerate after this, which will, if the Chargers turn up, be ugly.
LA, two scores plus.
NY Giants at Arizona
This should be a nice soft landing after the embarrassment of last week for the Giants, but would you back against Arizona turning the crisis meter up to 11 in New York? Surely not. Surely, surely not. Lose this and you’ve a 0-2 team with a 40m/per QB that’s flatlining. It could be a very long year in New York for both the blue and green. Even the Metlife turf can only take out so many of the opposition. Regardless, I expect them to win this – Arizona are as bad as advertised, and I wouldn’t be kidded on by them pushing Washington close last week – they look just as execrable this season.
Giants, one score.
San Francisco at LA Rams
I don’t like this game for San Francisco after an Eastern trip, well though they played against the Steelers. The Rams look better than advertised, and these games are almost always complete wars. It should be good, it could be a classic, and I want to have faith in my team, but I’ve had a bad feeling about this one all week. Aaron Donald vs the 49ers interior feels like a mismatch.
LA, one score.
NY Jets at Dallas
Aaron Rodgers seems to think he can make it back for the post season. I wasn’t aware he needed to be recovered from his achilles tear to sit in the stands watching a playoff game – because the Jets ain’t making it now or probably at all, now he’s sat on the sidelines. Dallas, meanwhile, are at home fresh off humiliating their division rivals. There’s only one winner here.
Dallas, two scores plus.
Washington at Denver
Washington convinced no one in beating a terrible Arizona team last week, and Sam Howell looked only marginally capable of being an NFL quarterback. Meanwhile, in Denver, the Broncos convinced no one in losing to the Raiders, and Russell Wilson looked only marginally capable of being an NFL quarter…ok. I guess it comes down to which team has more room for improvement, and in that sense, it’s Denver, because Payton won’t lose for long. Might be an ugly one though.
Denver, one score.
Miami at New England
Miami just did enough to win their basketball game last week, but weren’t terribly impressive in doing so – other than on offense. That defense is pretty poor so far, and it’s hard to see what looks like a well-coached if slightly talent deficient Patriots team allowing Tyreek Hill to run wild. Throw in Miami’s terrible record in Foxboro and a Patriots team clutching and clawing for every inch this year, and I’ve got them winning here. Probably an upset to many, but I’ll be impressed if Miami pull this off.
New England, one score.
New Orleans at Carolina
It’s hard to get enthused by this game. New Orleans were not good last week, but outlasted a worse team. They didn’t look particularly explosive on offense but played pretty stout defensively, and it should be enough here, if only because Carolina, while capable of some exciting plays, look like they’re a long way from where they need to be.
New Orleans, one score.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh
This one used to be easy to pick, as Cleveland losing to Pittsburgh was as certain as a Republican winning Georgia, but this is 2023 – Cleveland had an impressive win in Week 1, while the Steelers look increasingly worse with every passing week. Kenny Pickett doesn’t look like the answer, and bizarrely and possibly most damningly, the Steelers look really poorly coached and disciplined. It feels a little like they’re tuning Mike Tomlin out, and if this goes the way I expect, things could start getting really bad in Pittsburgh.
Cleveland, one score.