Hello again! Will Week 13 be unlucky or good for me? Let’s find out, but not before we find out just how bad last week was…
Porter vs The World – 91-76 (7-5 last week, with 4 correct margins)
Missed out on a couple of close games with New Orleans, Tampa, Houston and Carolina all going down on the wrong side of close scorelines, while Chicago’s surprising ugly win also caused me another lost point. Fortunately, my faith in Denver, Kansas City and Baltimore was rewarded, whereas the likes of Philadelphia and Pittsburgh continued to annoy me by winning in difficult circumstances.
Where does that leave us this week? Let’s give it a look.
Dallas 41, Seattle 35
An actual good Prime game – even if it was slightly marred by more laundry than is in a teenager’s basket following a weekend home alone. Al Michaels continued his drift into the Martin Tyler/grumpy old man of the NFL with a few spiky comments, and an otherwise usually decent Seattle defense collapsed to somehow lose a game in which they scored 35 points. Jamal Adams might want to spend less time baiting reporters and more time working out what the fuck’s going on in that secondary. Dallas, meanwhile, keep doing what they’re doing and beating teams they should beat – their first big test in a while will come next week against their division rivals in Philly.
Indianapolis (6-5) at Tennessee (4-7)
Colour me shocked to find that Indy are 6-5, and still pretty much holding a chance of the playoffs going into week 13. It’s a credit to this roster and the coaching staff that they’ve largely found a way to be a competitive, tough out each week. I fully expect them to win here over a poor Tennessee side, who are largely just using the remainder of the season to evaluate Will Levis.
Indy, one score.
LA Chargers (4-7) at New England (2-9)
Christ. I’m going to have to pick the Chargers, because, records be damned, New England may actually be the worst team in the league. If LA lose this, Brandon Staley shouldn’t even be allowed on the plane home.
LA, two scores plus.
Detroit (8-3) at New Orleans (5-6)
This is a nasty little game for Detroit, and probably not the game you want coming off a surprise loss to Green Bay last week (technically!). I don’t really know what New Orleans are, particularly as they keep losing games that they ought to be winning (last week being a prime example). I’ll pick Detroit, as I think they’re a better team, but more than most weeks, they really, really need to prove it today.
Detroit, one score
Atlanta (5-6) at NY Jets (4-7)
It says something about the absurdity of the NFL playoff picture that Atlanta are potentially the four seed despite being one of the worst coached teams in the league. RANK TEAMS BY STANDING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!…
Anyway, one bad team takes on another, Atlanta should win, because the Jets are starting a gardener at QB. They probably won’t and fuck my picks up again.
Atlanta, one score.
Arizona (2-10) at Pittsburgh (7-4)
Zzzz. Pittsburgh win but make it harder than it needs to be.
Pittsburgh, one score.
Denver (6-5) at Houston (6-5)
Finally, a game worth caring about. The Broncos have found something in the last few games, whereas Houston have been the pleasant surprise of the year, and CJ Stroud is great fun to watch. It’s hard to choose a winner here, especially given I like Houston, but I’m going to take Denver, who after a very difficult start, seem to be rolling downhill, even possibly towards the playoffs.
Denver, one score.
Miami (8-3) at Washington (4-8)
Easiest game to pick this week possibly – Miami wins easily against a Washington team that’s long since given up on their season.
Miami, two scores plus.
Carolina (1-10) at Tampa Bay (4-7)
I got burned picking Carolina last week in a winnable game – so burned that Frank Reich got fired for it. This would normally fall in the winnable category, but with Tampa at home and an interim coach, should be an easy win for Tampa.
Tampa Bay, two scores plus.
Cleveland (7-4) at LA Rams (5-6)
A good matchup here, as McVay’s ever-useful offense goes up against an excellent Cleveland defense. Cleveland’s inability to put points on the board cost them last week, and sadly, I see that happening again here, as I think the Rams generate just enough offense to put them away, and remain alive in the wildcard hunt.
Rams, one score.
San Francisco (8-3) at Philadelphia (10-1)
The big game! Last year’s NFC title rematch, but this time with intact elbows. I’m expecting a classic, but in a first for this Cranky Englishman, I’m taking George Kittle and McCaffrey having big games, particularly given Philly’s holes at LB, and helping us win a close, probably classic, one.
Niners, one score.
Kansas City (8-3) at Green Bay (5-6)
KC look back to something approaching their normal level lately, while Green Bay have actually given life to their season with a good recent run. It looks like Jordan Love might have something, if only Matt LaFleur can find his playcalling groove. One suspects that next season rather than this might be Green Bay’s time, as the younger players mature, but they should give KC a decent game, especially at home.
Kansas City, one score.
Cincinnati (5-6) at Jacksonville (8-3)
In normal circumstances, a close game, but in the year of QB injuries, Cincinnati losing Burrow hurts way more than it does to most teams. They could barely generate offense last week, and I can’t see that changing, whereas Jacksonville looks like a juggernaut waiting to happen.
Jacksonville, two scores plus.
See you next week! Do you want to tell me I’m a genius, idiot, or somewhere in between? Comment, tweet or email me.