Has there ever been a less consequential week in the NFL? There’s a few games with playoff implications, but otherwise it’s basically an extra week of preseason, as a fair few qualified teams will be resting starters going into it. Will that help or hinder my picks? I guess we’ll see, but in the final week of regular season picks, let’s see how my record looks.
Porter versus The World – 130-107 (10-4 last week, 3 correct margins)
Bad week for the margins, but an excellent week for the picks, giving me a 0.548 percentage on the year, right above Jeff Fisher in NFL terms, but just below Chuck Knox. Can I drag it higher this week, or lower? Let’s find out.
Pittsburgh (9-7) at Baltimore (13-3)
With Baltimore resting half their starters, this unfortunately looks like a Pittsburgh win. Fortunately for the rest of the league, that ensures another year of Mike Tomlin in Pittsburgh, so nothing to worry about for the foreseeable future.
Steelers, one score.
Houston (9-7) at Indianapolis (9-7)
Big playoff implications here, and I like both teams – Indy have been sneaky good all season, and are a fun watch as well, whereas if Houston make the playoffs, Demeco Ryans is a strong contender for coach of the year. It’s astounding where Houston are now compared to last year, and a strong pacifier for the likes of Carolina and Washington, who look lost at sea right now. It can happen to your franchise – if you get the right people in the right positions. So, who wins? That’s more difficult. I’ll take the team I like the most here, and back Houston to crash into the playoffs.
Houston, one score.
Atlanta (7-9) at New Orleans (8-8)
Big playoff implications here, and I hate both teams – New Orleans have been sneaky bad all season, and are a shit watch as well, whereas if Atlanta make the playoffs, Arthur Smith is a strong contender for worst coach to ever coach in a playoff game.
Hmm. I don’t actually think this game will matter, as Tampa beat Carolina (spoilers), but I’ll take New Orleans for being slightly less shit. Fire Arthur Smith – that team’s a head coach away from being good.
New Orleans, one score.
Cleveland (11-5) at Cincinnati (8-8)
Cleveland are resting a lot of starters, including everyone’s favourite NFL redemption story, Joe Flacco, so there’s only one winner here – basically, because if DTR could get it done, Flacco wouldn’t be there in the first place. A tough year for a good Cincinnati team, but they’ll be back, and with Joe Burrow, having ended on a reasonable high.
Cincinnati, one score.
Jacksonville (9-7) at Tennessee (5-11)
I could see Jacksonville finding a way to lose here, as they’ve been desperately poor lately, even in winning – but with the rumours swirling of a parting in Tennessee, I think they’ll just about do enough. As for Tennessee, Vrabel is a decent coach, but something clearly hasn’t worked the last two seasons, as he currently sits at 11-21 with one game to go. Twitter chatter of getting a first round pick for him just doesn’t stand up to scrutiny.
Jacksonville, one score.
Minnesota (7-9) at Detroit (11-5)
Minnesota need the win, whereas the Lions have the deckchairs largely out, unable to lift their seeding given likely wins for Philadelphia and Dallas (more spoilers!). However, I doubt Dan Campbell lets them have a week off, so I’ll take them to win, because Minnesota are pretty much pushing uphill as they have been all season. Big questions are heading their way in the offseason, especially at Quarterback.
Detroit, one score.
NY Jets (6-10) at New England (4-12)
Meh. Which team is less bad? Probably the Jets. Check back in next season for the Aaron Rodgers show, assuming he hasn’t been sued, imprisoned, or stabbed for calling someone a nonce with no evidence whatsoever. The man’s a fucking idiot, but the Jets had better be hoping he’s still a good Quarterback.
Jets, two scores plus.
Tampa Bay (8-8) at Carolina (2-14)
I’m not talking about Carolina any more, having backed them again last week to no end. Tampa wins, easy, and somehow gets a home playoff game.
Tampa, two scores plus.
Chicago (7-9) at Green Bay (8-8)
I’ve got Chicago here – I think they’re on a bit of a roll. It seems odd that, for all the caterwauling early in the year, the Bears were basically a couple of different results away from the playoffs. Are they trending upwards? It’s possible…
Green Bay certainly will trend upwards, I believe, in the next few seasons, but this one’s been a tough one, battling an experience gap at exactly the wrong time (as Detroit improved massively). Nonetheless, it should stand them in good stead for future seasons.
Chicago, one score.
Kansas City (10-6) at LA Chargers (5-11)
KC are resting Mahomes, but in all honesty, they could start Taylor Swift at QB and beat the Chargers. Next.
KC, two scores plus.
Philadelphia (11-5) at NY Giants (5-11)
Philly should win this, but then they should’ve won last week, and in several weeks this season, so we do have to consider that…
The Giants have had nothing to play for since November, and face a big offseason of tough decisions ahead. Some weapons for the QB – whoever that may be, but you’d expect it to be Daniel Jones – should be high on the list.
Philadelphia, two scores plus.
Dallas (11-5) at Washington (4-12)
Dallas wins, and continues to buff their record by beating shite. Next.
Dallas, two scores plus.
Denver (8-8) at Las Vegas (7-9)
Not much riding on this game playoff wise, but I fully expect that Denver is going to have a bloodbath of an offseason, so they’ll probably want to go into it with a win, especially over a division rival. The intrigue in Vegas is if one more win gets Antonio Pierce the job, as Jim Harbaugh rumours swirl…
I’ll take Vegas, as it’s a close game and they’re at home. A big offseason ahead for both teams, but probably bigger for Vegas, who have to get the decisions right this time around.
Vegas, one score.
LA Rams (9-7) at San Francisco (12-4)
This is the calmest I’ll be watching a 49ers game in a long time, with a first round bye locked up, several key players resting, and no good or bad news riding on the result. The fact we’re getting Darnold v Wentz is just a beautiful treat for anyone who loves broken toys. I’ll take my boys, as their depth is better, but honestly, this will just be fun to watch to see which no-names show up on film.
San Francisco, one score.
Seattle (8-8) at Arizona (4-12)
The Cardinals have beaten the Cowboys, Falcons, Steelers and Eagles this year.
What a strange football team.
It’s hard not to have optimism for the future in Arizona, they’ve been coached above their talent level for sure, and have some nice wins to show for it. I have to take Seattle, though, as they need the win a lot more. Seattle won’t be an easy team to beat in the playoffs, but conversely, it’s difficult to know which version of them turns up week-to-week. They’ll get the job done here, and probably easily, after a little back and forth.
Seattle, two scores plus.
Buffalo (10-6) at Miami (11-5)
This will be an amazing game, I can’t wait for this. It’s hard to believe Miami have let themselves fall back far enough to be in a 50/50 game for the division, but here we are. Meanwhile, Buffalo could actually drop out of the playoffs entirely if they lose, or be the #2 seed if they win! It’s an absolutely wild set of variances, and I’m not entirely sure the game won’t be the same. I’m going to back the hot hand, which is Buffalo, which should please those in upstate New York, but also those in Miami, as they usually fall on their arses whenever I pick them.
Buffalo, one score.
That’s a wrap on the regular season! Thank you for all your support this year – I never saw myself doing every week of picks, but as I hit publish, we’ve achieved it! If you read and enjoy, or you read and hate it, please let me know via comment, tweet or email.